Thinking

Here I am again in the midst of teenage angst. This is our third child to go thru this phase and I am looking at one more that will yet go thru it. I am drained, I am angry, but most of all I am tired. I just finished a book that a friend gave me to read that is a fictional retelling of the book of Hosea in the bible. The theme of the book....redeeming love. God's timing is always good timing. I woke this morning totally drained from a rough night with our son.....I will be honest, I woke bracing for the day. Even with the sunrise I could not force myself to wake joyous for another day. I was not joyous, I was anything but.

These difficult times rarely ever conclude that eveing and most, if not all, will carry themselves well into the next day or days to come. I woke (waking is relative when you don't sleep much) to cry and I looked at the book I was reading about redeeming love....I decided to pick it up and finish it. I did. I cannot say that finishing the book filled me for the day. I am still drained, I am still tired, I looked forward to my kids leaving for school today because I don't have the energy this morning to deal with the onslaught of teenage hormones.

Now it is just me and God here. He will fill me I have faith in that. He will give me what I need to fulfill His purposes. I do believe that even if today that seems so far from where my head is at. It is time to get my head back in it. To remember to love, no matter what. To remember that God has loved me no matter what. To remember that my pain will be used for a greater purpose.

Lord as I clean my house today help me to clean my heart. Help me to fill it with you....help me to be a ligth to my children as well as to those around me.